Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Responding to the Pessimists

Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don’t wash their hands before they eat!” -Matthew 15:1, 2

It is a sad fact of life that if you are having a good time and truly enjoying yourself then sooner or later someone is going to resent you for it. Happy and positive people can be a little hard to take by those whose outlook is not as bright. Countless people stand in awe of those who have the energy to be upbeat and optimistic in the face of all of life’s frustrations. They probably won’t be willing to admit it, but there is something irritating about these cheerful folks. How is it that they are so chipper all the time? Don’t they ever become sad or discouraged? The answer is obvious; of course they do. A conscious decision was made not to live under their circumstances, but instead to rise above them.

Many people are highly skilled at putting on a happy face when on the inside they are dying. No one is more surprised than we to find out that the smile was false – a performance put on the for the benefit of a watching world.

Edwin Arlington Robinson described it masterfully in his classic poem “Richard Cory.” Everyone thought that Richard Cory was a man to be envied. He had unlimited wealth, he was handsome, wore the finest clothes, and was outgoing and friendly to everyone at all times. The men admired him and the ladies practically swooned when he spoke to them on the street. What no one realized was that Mr. Cory was a deeply troubled man. He battled inner demons that no one could see or even knew existed. In some unknown and private battle everything came crashing down around him. No one saw it coming. The townspeople were stunned when the news reached them:

So on we worked, and waited for the light,

And went without the meat and cursed the bread;

And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,

Went home and put a bullet through his head.

The great poet Mr. Robinson was not just talking about one person, but he was referring to those who have long given the false impression that all was well in their world. What a shock to discover that it was contrived, a feigned happiness displayed for an unsuspecting public. To enjoy life, we must somehow come to the place where we are genuinely glad to be among the living as a viable and active participant. Pretending to be happy can only be carried on for so long. Eventually the pretense will be revealed and the consequences can be disastrous.

If this describes you, then do not delay in getting help. Talk to someone: a trusted friend, a trained counselor, your clergyperson, or your family doctor. Take whatever steps necessary to start enjoying life again.

A key to maintaining personal well-being is to build into our lives a network of support. Involvement in a local church, civic group, volunteer work, or just by meeting some friends once a week for coffee serve as examples of how to connect with other people. Reaching out to others and connecting with them in the name of the Lord can bring us tremendous fulfillment.

The spiritual aspect of finding inner peace should also be considered. Daily prayer and Bible study are vital to finding the strength to face all the difficulties of life.

Joining the party involves rising up and meeting the challenge head on. Get up, get going, get busy, get involved, and get happy. A smile and friendly disposition need not be an act. Happiness is there for the one who truly desires it and is willing to do whatever it takes to find it. Once you start enjoying life again you will no longer have to pretend. You can do so honestly and freely with a countenance that expresses the gladness that is in your heart. Don’t ever give up on seeking after happiness and joy.

(From "The Invitation: Embracing a Happier Life," by Dan Birchfield, copyright 2009)

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