Have You Become Bitter? Overcome it With a Thankful Heart

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  –Philippians 4:11

We are finally experiencing the first truly cold weather of winter, and like it or not, we are bound to have to deal with it for the next few months. I was outside yesterday breathing the cold air and considering how it felt.  This air has an arctic feel to it, which makes sense, because according to the people who are weather experts, the freezing air is blowing down from out of the north and we are indeed feeling it. 

I was sitting on my couch the other night, looking at my two dogs, one curled up beside me on the couch (she isn’t supposed to be on the furniture), and the other snoozing comfortably on the floor.  We are the type of dog people who allow our dogs to reside indoors, much to their delight, especially on cold nights like that one.  I know there are many of my friends who have dogs and while they may not allow them inside the house, they make sure they have a place to sleep outside to escape this harsh weather.  I admit there are times when I feel a little guilty about how comfortable my dogs live when there are countless people in the world, many in my own community, who go without proper food, clothing, and shelter.  Assisting those in need is an ongoing challenge and Jesus said we are to reach out to those needs however possible (Matthew 25:35-40).  Jesus also said the poor we will always have with us (Matthew 26:11), so the needs will always be there.  Christ calls us to be aware of the needs around us and seek to reach out to others in any way possible.  We can all be involved by assisting local charities, food drives, and volunteering at homeless shelters.  Compared with millions of people in the world who go daily without basic life necessities, I live like a king.  Therefore my dogs, who reside with me, do as well.

I write often of how we all go through life struggles, and in the midst of them we easily become discouraged.  Never forget there is hope in the Lord; He brought you through and He will do so again.  Unless we are careful, we become bitter, and bitterness is an ugly condition, especially for anyone desiring to walk by faith and live victoriously.  Recognize the signs of bitterness:

•       Negativity
•     Cynicism
•     Unwillingness to forgive
•     Misdirected anger towards those we love
•     Disrupted sleep patterns
•     Loss of appetite or seeking comfort in food
•     Anger at God

All of these are warning signs that bitterness has taken hold of us.  God’s Word warns us of ever being on our guard lest a bitter root take hold in our hearts (Hebrews 12:15).  By faith, we rise up and with God’s help overcome bitterness and all its ugly characteristics.  When you feel bitterness setting in, stop and take a look at what you have.  Like me, most of you reading this have much to be thankful for.  Stop and count your many blessings.  Learn daily to develop a thankful heart, which leads to a positive outlook.  I am striving to learn, as did Paul the Apostle, that with God’s help, I can be contented in any and all circumstances.  

Look up, be thankful, and trust the Lord each day.

God bless you.

God Brought you Through, He Will do so Again

Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."  Luke 9:62

One of the blessings of living in the neighborhood in which we reside is having quiet streets to walk our dogs, Ada and Leon.  I have a common route I follow for nearly every walk, call me a creature of habit, and the dogs and I can cover it in about thirty minutes of brisk walking.  Midway through the walk is Green Hill Road, part of which traverses a steep upgrade.  By the time we reach the top, I am usually winded, but my walking companions trudge playfully up the hill as if they had hardly walked at all.  It’s a great walk and I always feel a sense of accomplishment every time I make it to the top of that hill.  I will sometimes glance back over my shoulder to see what was accomplished.  A feeling of gratitude follows.  “Thank you, Lord, for helping me up this hill, and thank you I’m alive and healthy to experience it!”  Our walk continues with renewed strength.

Jesus spoke of ever moving forward in faith, summarized in the verse about those who put their hands to the plow and look back are not worthy of God’s Kingdom.  What about the farmer who plows a row and then looks back over what he has done?  Why might this be a problem?  The act of looking back only becomes problematic when our attitude becomes one of regret and longing for what used to be.  As Jesus’ followers, we abandon old attitudes, bad habits, and self-centeredness.  We move forward daily growing in Christ’s love, grace, and mercy.  We become keenly aware of the people around us and their hurts, pain, and personal anguish.  The focus is off of us and instead we look to how we can make a positive difference in the world.

All the while we are of course going through our own unique struggles.  We all have trials, frustrations, family problems, financial pressures, and challenges at our places of employment.  Yet, despite our own struggles, Christ empowers us to new hope, renewed strength, and peace that passes all human understanding (Philippians 4:7).  Problems do not disappear when we receive Christ.  Instead, we have spiritual power for rising up, confronting our trials, and going forward in victory and power.  Thus, God empowers us to shine Jesus’ light to a lost and hurting world that desperately needs hope.

I often look back, but not in longing for the man I was before I knew Christ.  i do not long for the sins of my youth.  Rather, I look back and rejoice over the battles, struggles, and difficulties the Lord brought me through.  You can do likewise.  No doubt, you have been through all sorts of difficulties.  Have faith, for God will bring you through whatever problems you are facing right now. 

God brought you through before; He will do it again.  Look ahead and trust the Lord, for He has a plan for your life.

God bless you.

Never Get Over the Wonder of Life

There was a time in my life when I wasn’t at least a little tired; I think it was when I was seven. Kids always have unlimited energy, like fully charged batteries that never drain. Eventually, we become adults with grown-up responsibilities, such as jobs, spouses, kids, and a mortgage, and suddenly we realize the stamina all this requires. The naps we hated as children become something longed for like mirages in the desert. We are dying of thirst, and fatigue, and if only we could lie down in that blissful oasis, even for a short while, we would be re-born. Ah yes, we would recline in streams of cool water, close our eyes in ecstasy, and emerge refreshed and ready to take on the world. Like David facing Goliath, we could whip anyone.

When I was seven, I was never tired. Such boundless energy has a source, which is the wonder of life. Children today have lost touch with said wonder, and therein lies the tragedy. When I was seven, my brother and I received Superman suits as gifts from our parents. Someone in the copyright department was sleeping through this epoch of my childhood because I remember well that Superman logo screaming “copyright infringement” to a slumbering world, yet somehow no one noticed or sued anyone. We ripped the plastic covers off our suits, donned our costumes, and flew about the house, arms outstretched before us, bright red capes streaming behind us, like super heroes seeking dangerous criminals. Numerous passes through the kitchen and dining room perhaps caused our parents to reevaluate the wisdom of their gift. Right before takeoff, I recall reading a warning label printed in the cover of our Superman suits, which said, “Warning: this suit does not give wearer the ability to fly.” I said, “Hey Tom, look at this; someone thinks wearing this suit will make him fly.” My brother returned my derisive jest with a pitying gaze, and then he raised his arms before him and was again in flight.

I doubt any seven year old kids today would surrender their IPod, laptops, video games, or smartphones, even for a moment to fly around the house in a Superman suit. That is a shame, because they do not know what they are missing. They would discover overlooked delights. They already possess the energy. They simply need a positive outlet.

I am always looking for a positive outlet or something which will give me energy. Maybe I will find a Superman suit and go for a fly around the house. I wonder if the neighbors would think it odd if they saw me cruising the neighborhood, arms outstretched, red cape wildly flapping behind me as I ran down the street seeking to right the world’s injustices. My wife would not blink an eye. She has already lived through my phases of, I want a motorcycle, I think I will get a Corvette, I am certain I can climb Mount Everest, perhaps I will become a mixed martial arts fighter, and the latest, I am certain I could be the next “American Ninja Warrior” champion.

Never be fearful of dreams, for they are energizing. Live, dream, aspire. Thank God for every day. Make the most of life and redeem the time we have. Never get over the wonder of life.

God bless you today.

Seven Things We Should Say to Our Children

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.  –Ephesians 6:4

Have you ever had the unfortunate experience of overhearing a conversation you did not intend or want to hear?  This happened to me the other day in a grocery store parking lot.  I was walking back to my car after shopping when I passed a man and a teenage girl, presumably his daughter, having what sounded like a heated conversation.  As I passed by I heard the man say to the girl, “Retire?  How can I retire?  I can never retire and it’s because of you!”  I know better than to interfere with other peoples’ conflicts, but my heart ached for this girl.  The man said something she may negatively remember the rest of her life.

I know what the man said to the girl, but what do you think she heard?  I believe she heard something like, “You are a terrible burden to me and you’re causing me a lot of trouble – more than you’re worth.”  I walked away from this considering all the times I have spoken harsh words to my sons in moments of exasperation that I later regretted.  The only way to overcome the harsh words we have spoken in the past is to resolve to no longer speak them.  The next step is to cover our children with positive words of encouragement.

The following are my suggestions of things we should say to our children:

1. I love you.  These simple words speak volumes, and no matter how old our kids get, keep telling them this.

2. I am proud of you.  The world will point out our kid’s mistakes, so it is up to us to let them know how proud we are of their accomplishments.

3. You can accomplish this.  Listen when our children speak of their goals, hopes, and dreams.  Encourage them with the reminder that anything is possible if they trust God and set their minds to it.

4. I am here for you.  It’s up to us to let our kids know they can count on us when they need us.  When my sons were teenagers, we made a pact that if they were ever in a situation and needed me to come and get them, I would come, no questions asked.  Remind them that if they are at someone’s house and there is alcohol or drugs and they do not want to be there, they can call you and you will come – without judgment or lecture. 

5. You have a bright future.  This is the polar opposite of telling a kid how worthless he or she is, and believe me, countless children are often told such hateful words.  Remind our children often that they are unique individuals of unlimited worth and potential.

6. So, how’re you doing?  Are we truly willing to listen when our children speak to us?  If you have a trusting relationship in which your kids are willing to talk to you, then you are blessed, my friend.  Nurture this trust and let your kids know when they want to talk, you are willing to listen.

7. I’m sorry.  If we have failed our kids in some way, spoken harsh words, or were not there when they needed us, then a heartfelt apology is in order.  Swallow your pride and tell them you are sorry.  You may be surprised by the results.

Are there helpful and encouraging words you would add to the list?  How may I pray for you and your family today?  Start a discussion.  As always, you may post anonymously. 

Family is God’s gift to us.  Cherish them and nurture them.

God bless you.

Ten Reasons Life is Worth Living

I lay down and slept;

I awoke, for the Lord sustained me.

I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people

Who have set themselves against me all around.  –Psalm 3:5, 6

Often when I am talking with someone and trying offer encouragement, I realize I have no idea the true depths of despair the person may be experiencing.  He or she may be teetering on the edge of giving up on life altogether.  It may be that the person you speak kind and encouraging words to today may be hanging onto life by a slender thread, and your words could mean the difference between life and death.  Who knows that the person we bump into at the bank or grocery store may be so mired in sorrow that checking out of this world is beginning to look like a viable solution.

Several years ago, an acquaintance of mine stopped by the church office to see me.  I had known this man to be a hard worker, family man, and by all outward appearances emotionally solid.  He sat down in my office and began to speak of the internal struggles he was facing.  Through tears he confessed he believed his family and the world at large would be better off without him.  I sought to convince him that this wasn’t the case.  “Your family needs you,” I assured him.  “People all around you need you,” I said.  I sat there hoping and praying my words rang true and hit home.  I am glad to say the man is still here, and while I don’t see him very often, he is still among us, which means he is fighting the good fight of moving forward with life.

Maybe you have felt like the man I spoke with.  Perhaps you have experienced the hopelessness of despair and sorrow.  Let me assure you like I assured him that the world is a better place with you in it.  God has a wonderful plan for your life.  With this in mind, let me share today my ten reasons life is worth living.  Some of these overlap a little, but I pray they are an encouragement to you. 

1. Life will get better; give it more time.  You will be amazed at how life will have improved in a year from now.

2. You are an individual of immeasurable worth and potential.

3. You are not here by accident.  You were created by God for a divine purpose.

4. You are stronger than you think you are.

5. There are people who love you and need you in their lives.

6. The world is a better place with you in it.

7. You may feel terrible, yet you will be happy again.

8. God is perfectly willing to help you.  Ask and He will be there for you.

9. You possess gifts and talents from which others may benefit.

10. Joy is coming.  Seek it and wait for it.

How may I pray for you today?  Perhaps you just need to get something off your chest.  As always, you may comment anonymously.  

God bless you, it's going to be a great day!

Life Will Get Better. Give it More Time

For His anger is but for a moment,

His favor is for life;

Weeping may endure for a night,

But joy comes in the morning.  –Psalm 30:5

            Endless days stretch before you.  The little squares on the calendar mock you.  The hands of the clock appear to be your enemy.  Your mind is troubled with hard questions. 

            “How will I make it through today?” you wonder.  The question can go no further, for you dare not think too far ahead.  Attempting to think beyond right now is too painful.  It’s all you can do to make it through the next few moments.  Dark thoughts crowd into your mind.  They tell you lies.  In your anguish you begin to believe, even if it’s for only a moment, life will never get better.  You feel you are stranded on this island of misery with no hope of rescue.  You come to a harsh and desperate conclusion; life is no longer worth living.

            Stop right there.  You must cease from thinking in these terms.  Allow me to share with you a simple truth which explains why I am so serious about this.  Life will get better if you will give it more time.  Let’s not play with any shallow parables about time healing all wounds.  Right now you need something of greater substance.  Put away any thoughts, no matter how sketchy they may be, of doing something drastic, and give your life more time.  If you will heed this advice you will be amazed at the results.  One year from now you will be amazed at how your life will have improved. 

            I understand perfectly what it feels like to believe life is no longer worth living.  Joy is gone, happiness is a foreign idea, and peace is overshadowed by constant gloom and sorrow.  Simple tasks such as getting out of bed, shaving, showering, getting dressed, and facing the world all have become too much trouble.  Pursuits which once brought tremendous joy now seem pointless.  Lying in bed and sleeping look much more appealing.  In fact, if given the opportunity you would sleep all day every day.  You sleep because while in the twilight of dreams you no longer contemplate how miserable you feel.  Were you to relay all of this to me I would pat you on the shoulder, gently, calmly, and share with you my own dark battle with depression.  During my darkest days when I thought I could go no further and life would never get better I resolved, with God’s help, to hold to a simple truth; life will get better if I give it more time. 

            How long did it take for me until life got better?  My struggle lasted six long years, from 2000 until 2006.  However, I held to this certainty; life will get better.  Heading into the sixth year I again claimed this powerful principle.  I again reminded myself that one year from now my situation will have improved.  The following spring the light shined, the dark clouds parted, and with God’s help the climb out of sorrow, depression, and all the accompanying loneliness and despair began in earnest.  Each succeeding year has become brighter as I have learned how to better manage and overcome depression.

            You can accomplish this.  You will get better.  Life will improve.  Your situation can and will look brighter.  No matter how lonely and desperate you may feel do not give up.  Give it more time.  You will be amazed down the road how life has become better, brighter, and more hopeful.  You will live again and you will be happy.

            Does feeling better and living a happy and productive life appear impossible?  One year from now your life will have improved. 

            Take life one day at a time, one hour at a time, and if you have to do so, take life one minute at a time.  You will never know the joys which await you if you give up.

            Keep going, for life is worthy living and will get better.

            Your journey has just begun.

How may I pray for you today?  As always, you may comment anonymously. It's going to be a great day.

Seven Things we Ought to Say to People

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.  –Proverbs 16:24

I recently wrote a blog post about things we should never say, and so today I bring you my list of what we ought to say at every opportunity.  Each day we encounter people who are probably hurting inside.  No one knows what is truly going on in someone else’s heart, but if your heart is anything like mine you are most likely burdened with all sorts of problems, stresses, and situations capable of producing a level of anxiety.  What a difference when someone speaks kind and gracious words to us in those moments we are down.  The right words, spoken at a time when we are discouraged, are like a healing balm to a troubled soul. 

Speaking words that help and encourage those around us is an intentional practice. We must be disciplined in our approach to how we relate to people.  In light of the negative words we often hear, the following is my list of what we ought to say at every opportunity.

1. Thank you.  These simple words carry great weight and go a long way toward expressing gratitude.  The words are applicable in countless situations ranging from being given a gift, assisted with a task, or told something helpful.

2. You’re welcome.  No doubt you have said, “Thank you,” to someone and the reply was, “No problem,” “Don’t mention it,” or “Don’t worry about it.”  These phrases carry the implication of gratitude, yet leave us feeling short changed.  It’s as if your expression of gratitude was unnecessary.  I know people rarely mean anything negative by such responses, yet an opportunity was missed.  Try sticking with the classic, “You’re welcome,” and see the difference it makes.

3. I appreciate you very much.  Here we distinguish between what someone did and the actual person.  Were it not for the person, what he or she did for us would never have happened.  The emphasis is on the individual rather than on what he or she did for us.  These words have the power to lift up people who are questioning their self-worth.

4. It’s going to be all right.  When going through a trying and difficult time, it often helps to be reminded that the problem, no matter how great, will one day be behind us.  This is always preferable to the negative and discouraging words we hear each day.

5. I hope all this works out for you.  Whenever a friend or loved one announces a plan that doesn’t make sense to us, such as I’m getting married, I’m moving to Nepal, or I’m changing careers, we do well to avoid a knee jerk reaction.  When someone drops a bombshell on us our first instinct is to jump up and say, “You’re going to do what?”  Sound advice, given at the proper time, is beneficial, but in the meantime a kind word of hope is always appreciated.  Letting someone know you hope everything works out well in the long run is usually well received.

6. I’m praying for you.  Having said this, be sure to then follow through with your promise to lift the person up to God in prayer.

7. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.  Never speak these words unless you are committed to being available when the person needs you.  You may have to take the person by the hand and follow this declaration up with, “I mean it; call me anytime if you need me.”  In time, someone may offer his or her help to you and you may  be the one reaching out in time of need.  Such care and kindness may mean life or death to someone.

I trust this is helpful.  Perhaps you are going through a hard time and need someone to pray for you.  I welcome an opportunity to do that.  As always, you may post a comment anonymously. 

God bless you – it’s going to be a great day.